Wednesday, 7 March 2012

Unavailable Guy is like a busy signal on a phone...JUST HANG UP.

So there are the Nice Guys and there are the Bad Boys.  Girls will always say how they always go for Bad Boys, or guys always say Nice Guys finish last.

There is another type of Guy.  And this is the guy that I’m always seeming to go for.  It is the Unavailable Guy.  Now there are subcategories of the Unavailable Guy.  There’s the obvious one, Emotionally Unavailable Guy, who always has an excuse as to why he can’t commit to a relationship.  Someone in the past shattered him, his parents had a messy divorce, etc, etc. 

Then there is the Physically Unavailable Guy.  You meet someone, hit it off and low and behold, he doesn’t live here, but visits all the time, or semi-regularly, or he travels all the time for work, but wants to stay in contact because “you’re just awesome”.

Either way, Mr. Unavailable has trained himself, either consciously or subconsciously to only give a portion of himself, of the true awesome person is.  Unavailable Guys are not Bad Boys, they’re just messed up guys.  And no matter what you do, you cannot help them to become Available Guys.  They will only become Available Guys when they feel it’s their time.  But, these guys will continue to keep a hold on you because you make them feel good and special and cared about, even though they cannot give you the same in return.   

Here’s the kicker though...women that are attracted to Unavailable Guy, aren't actually available either! When we habitually date men that are unavailable, it's because deep down, we don't want to put our heart completely on the line and when everything goes wrong, as it ultimately does with these Guys, it's like a self fulfilling prophecy.

If you know me, you know my history of relationships.  Thankfully, it went from worse to slightly better and not the other way around....but still.  Abusive first relationship that took YEARS to get rid of, followed by a doll of a man, who was regrettably more like a man-child.  And all in between and around that was the ultimate Mr. Unavailable.

If you’ve watched Sex in the all 6 seasons...I LITERALLY WAS CARRIE...with my very own MR. we all know, it’s a t.v. show and life doesn’t end up with the guy saying “it’s always been you” at the end...just.doesn’t.happen.  Lol.

I allowed myself to be in a 9 year off and on “relationship” with Mr. Unavailable.  It was painful on the whole, but it was easier than putting myself out there to something real. 

I’ve learned a lot about who I am, and who I want to be, over the past 2 years.  I’ve kept people in my life because they are teaching me about myself, when others think I should let them go.  I like that I am a forgiving and loving person.  I don’t see it as being stepped on, or disrespected to continue to have friendships with people who have hurt me, yet molded and shaped me into the person I am today.  These people do not get to continually hurt me though, let me be clear about that.  I get to see my strength every day in the knowledge that I am a better person, and the people I have in my life also get to see my growth.

I’m ready to step out from all Mr. Unavailables and move into Nice Guy territory. question then becomes, where do you find a nice guy?

Saturday, 14 January 2012

Scent Free

Hello, my name is Stephanie, and I have scent allergies.

This is a relatively new issue in the world today.  Some people with scent allergies affect their skin (hives, rash), others it affects their lungs (closes up, can't breathe), for me, scents give me migraines. 

Now anyone who has had a migraine understands the pain that goes along with this.  They can be dibilitating.  For those of you who have never had a migraine, you probably think it's no worse than a headache, and "suck it up princess".

My scent allergies have been getting progressively worse over the past 6 years, ever since I quit smoking.  It is to the point now where I have to leave house parties, baby showers, weddings, work functions, because the minute I smell a reactive perfume/cologne/body spray, my throat will close up for a minute and then I start to feel the ache behind my eyes and a stabbing pain in the back of my skull. 

I have coworkers who don't believe there is such a thing as a scent allergy and therefore REFUSE to stop wearing whatever product it may be that has a scent.  I work in a scent sensitive environment.  It is not a scent free environment because the public is constantly coming in and it is really hard to regulate the general population.  Also, you can't tell someone they cant come to their court proceeding because they've worn perfume or cologne.  BUT, the people that WORK in the building, should have enough respect for people with allergies to not wear scented products!!!  

If there was a person who worked with you, that you knew had a severe peanut allergy, it would be mandated that no peanuts were to be brought to work, and everyone would follow that ruling for fear of killing their coworker!  But because scent allergies are so new, people think it's a joke, or just don't care.

I love yoga. It has literally changed my life, who I am, how I react to my environment and people in it.  My yoga studio is SCENT FREE.  This means, there should be no scents worn to the studio.  Not scent sensitive, scent free! 

I can understand if it's the end of the day, and you've just completed work, and you come to the studio straight from work, that there may be trace odor of your perfume/cologne/body spray left behind from the day.  But you don't have to then spray yourself again, prior to coming into the scent free studio.  What I don't understand is the mindset of someone who wakes up on a weekend for an early morning class and PUTS ON a perfume to come to a scent free studio?!? 

There have been numerous occasions where I had to leave a class because of a scent permeating the studio.  One of my biggest triggers, in particular, is patuli oil.  This is a common ingredient in a lot of perfumes/colognes/body sprays.  If you don't know what this smells like, imagine cat pee mixed with weed...and you've got patuli oil.   Some people will put patuli into their moisturizer to help with psoriasis.  Some people just like the smell...

If I could do something to get rid of my scent allergies (like take a pill) I would do it in a heartbeat.  Unfortunately there is no treatment for scent allergies known as yet.  So I suffer at the hands of those at my work who don't believe they should have to change their ways because of my condition.  And I miss out on my bliss at yoga....

I understand that scent allergies is a new condition and not a very understood one, but on behalf of allergy sufferers everywhere, PLEASE, follow the rules!  Whether it's an office building, a hospital or a yoga studio, consider that you may come in contact with someone like me and leave the scented products at home!
maybe the above link will help you understand a little bit more...maybe not...