It's not quite LYM Challenge time (starts tomorrow) so I figured I'd just continue rambling and see what happens!
So I'm not sure how this post will go over...I guess, that's the whole point of a blog though right, to voice an opinion.
I'm an Atheist. Well, let me state this a little clearer...I was a born and raised Roman Catholic, DECIDED Atheist :)
Anyone who is or has had a religion forced on them (by the most loving and positive parents in the world, I owe them more than I could ever repay!) and then grows into the person you are, with the non-beliefs you have, tend to have strong feelings about said prior religion. Likewise, anyone who has had bad life experiences, which undoubtably shape who you are in adulthood, tend to question a religion that was not of your choosing, but is so strict it TELLS you how you MUST live your life, while in and of itself seems very hypocritical.
Needless to say, for me, the word God has a negative connotation. It is a word that is synonomous with Catholicism and in turn, not my cup o' tea. The word God leaves a queezy feeling in my stomach, to say the least.
I have, in my life most recently, been able to separate Spirit, from that of religion and reclaim it as my own. My Spirit. My Lifeforce. My Energy. That which is connected to the earth around me and the Spirits of the people surrounding me.
When I search around on the internet looking for reading material on yoga, meditation, spiritualism, the word God comes up a lot. So does my queeze... I am doing my best to open my heart and mind to allow the love and peace that I can feel from my practice fill me, but that word....
Let me put it to you this way. An alcoholic ATHEIST joins AA and is told they must follow the steps in order to atone and be at peace in their disease. SIX of the 12 steps involve God....what does that person then do?!?
Some of you reading this may think this is a horrible comparison because alcoholism is a disease and shouldn't be compared to me searching for peace through yoga...without including someone else's God, but it was an example, and a relevant one in my still learning and growing state of being....
How do you keep with the practice without letting go of your belief...or non-belief as the case may be? Do I continue to open myself up to Spirit (in my definition of word)? Maybe those of you who have taken their practice off the mat and into meditation or buddism or some other form of spirituality could help me on my quest?